10 unmistakable habits of utterly authentic people

10 unmistakable habits of utterly authentic people10 unmistakable habits of utterly authentic peopleOscar Wilde said, Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. Wilde made it sound so simple, but living with authenticity is a real challenge.To live authentically, you must own your actions and ensure that they align with your beliefs and needs. This can be a difficult thing to maintain when external forces pressure you to do something youre not comfortable with or to be someone youre not.Most people have experienced the discomfort that comes with failing to behave authentically. Researchers from Harvard, Columbia, and Northwestern joined forces to measure this phenomenon scientifically. They found that when people failed to behave authentically, they experienced a heightened state of discomfort thats usually associated with immorality. People who werent true to themselves were so distraught that they felt a strong desire to cleanse themselves physically.Follow Ladders on FlipboardFo llow Ladders magazines on Flipboard covering Happiness, Productivity, Job Satisfaction, Neuroscience, and moreIts clear that our brains know when were living a lie, and like all lies, being inauthentic causes nothing but harm. But how do you start living authentically? That can be tough, especially if youve been playing a role for most of your adult life.I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as Ive become. If I had, Id have done it a lot earlier. Oprah WinfreyAuthentic people are deeply in tune with who they are and what they want. Their ability to live their life in harmony with their true selves comes from some clearly discernible habits that any of us can study and incorporate into our repertoire.They help others to be their authentic selvesAuthentic people dont expect others to play a role either. They dont make people feel as though they have to fit into a certain mold or to project a certain image to be a part of their lives. Their commitment to b eing authentic gives other people the freedom to live authentically too.They let go of negative peopleAuthentic people have too much self-respect to put up with people who treat them badly or have ill will toward them, and they have too much respect for other people to try to change them. So they let go - not out of anger, but out of their need to be true to themselves.They express their true feelings and opinions, even when theyre not popularAuthentic people dont live a go-along-to-get-along lifestyle. Theyre simply not capable of acting in a way thats contrary to what their principles dictate, even if there are repercussions. They prefer not to lie to other people, and they especially cant lie to themselves. This means that theyre willing to live with the repercussions of staying true to themselves.They are confidentMuch social anxiety stems from the fear we have of being found out. Were afraid that somebody is going to discover that were not as smart, experienced, or well-connec ted as we pretend to be. Authentic people dont have that fear. Their confidence comes from the fact that they have nothing to hide. Who they appear to be is who they really are.They prefer deep conversations to meaningless chatterEleanor Roosevelt nailed this one. She once said, Great minds discuss ideas average minds discuss events small minds discuss people. You wont find authentic people gossiping about others or giving their opinions on the latest celebrity scandals. They know all of that stuff is nothing more than cultural trappings, and they choose to talk about things that matter.They dont take anyones advice without evaluating it carefully firstIts not that authentic people arent willing to take advice they are. But they dont put that advice into action just because other people have. First, theyll run it through the wringer from a critical perspective so that they can be sure it makes sense for them.They dont complain about their problemsComplaining is what you do when you think that the situation youre in is someone elses fault or that its someone elses job to fix it. Authentic people, on the other hand, are accountable. They understand that they - and no one else - are responsible for their own lives, so theres no point in complaining.Theyre internally motivatedAuthentic people dont sit at their desks thinking, Well, if my boss would just make this job worthwhile, Id do a better job. The carrot-and-stick approach just isnt relevant to them. Theyre motivated from within.They make the best out of any situationAuthentic people have a very firm grasp on reality. When things dont go their way, they dont get trapped in denial, and they dont sit around whining about how things should be different. They simply take stock of the way things are and, if theres nothing they can do to change the situation, they figure out a way to make the best of it.They dont get stressed or upset when someone doesnt like themIts never fun accepting that someone doesnt like y ou, but a lot of times that discomfort comes from trying to figure out what you did wrong or how you can fix it. Authentic people dont have that anxiety because they would never try to change themselves to influence someone elses opinion. They accept that other people have a right to be authentic about their own feelings, even if those feelings are negative toward them.Bringing it all togetherLiving authentically is a perpetual challenge that yields great rewards. Its a noble path that you wont regret following.What are the benefits of living authentically? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.Travis Bradberry is the co-author ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0and the co-founder ofTalentSmart.This column first appeared on LinkedIn.You might also enjoyNew neuroscience reveals 4 rituals that will make you happyStrangers know your social class in the first seven words you say, study finds10 lessons from Benjamin Franklin s daily schedule that will double your productivityThe worst mistakes you can make in an interview, according to 12 CEOs10 habits of mentally strong people10 unmistakable habits of utterly authentic peopleOscar Wilde said, Be yourself. Everyone else is already taken. Wilde made it sound so simple, but living with authenticity is a real challenge.To live authentically, you must own your actions and ensure that they align with your beliefs and needs. This can be a difficult thing to maintain when external forces pressure you to do something youre not comfortable with or to be someone youre not.Most people have experienced the discomfort that comes with failing to behave authentically. Researchers from Harvard, Columbia, and Northwestern joined forces to measure this phenomenon scientifically. They found that when people failed to behave authentically, they experienced a heightened state of discomfort thats usually associated with immorality. People who werent true to themselves were s o distraught that they felt a strong desire to cleanse themselves physically.Ladders is now on SmartNewsDownload the SmartNews app and add the Ladders channel to read the latest career news and advice wherever you go.Its clear that our brains know when were living a lie, and like all lies, being inauthentic causes nothing but harm. But how do you start living authentically? That can be tough, especially if youve been playing a role for most of your adult life.I had no idea that being your authentic self could make me as rich as Ive become. If I had, Id have done it a lot earlier. Oprah WinfreyAuthentic people are deeply in tune with who they are and what they want. Their ability to live their life in harmony with their true selves comes from some clearly discernible habits that any of us can study and incorporate into our repertoire.They help others to be their authentic selvesAuthentic people dont expect others to play a role either. They dont make people feel as though they have to fit into a certain mold or to project a certain image to be a part of their lives. Their commitment to being authentic gives other people the freedom to live authentically too.They let go of negative peopleAuthentic people have too much self-respect to put up with people who treat them badly or have ill will toward them, and they have too much respect for other people to try to change them. So they let go - not out of anger, but out of their need to be true to themselves.They express their true feelings and opinions, even when theyre not popularAuthentic people dont live a go-along-to-get-along lifestyle. Theyre simply not capable of acting in a way thats contrary to what their principles dictate, even if there are repercussions. They prefer not to lie to other people, and they especially cant lie to themselves. This means that theyre willing to live with the repercussions of staying true to themselves.They are confidentMuch social anxiety stems from the fear we have of being fo und out. Were afraid that somebody is going to discover that were not as smart, experienced, or well-connected as we pretend to be. Authentic people dont have that fear. Their confidence comes from the fact that they have nothing to hide. Who they appear to be is who they really are.They prefer deep conversations to meaningless chatterEleanor Roosevelt nailed this one. She once said, Great minds discuss ideas average minds discuss events small minds discuss people. You wont find authentic people gossiping about others or giving their opinions on the latest celebrity scandals. They know all of that stuff is nothing more than cultural trappings, and they choose to talk about things that matter.They dont take anyones advice without evaluating it carefully firstIts not that authentic people arent willing to take advice they are. But they dont put that advice into action just because other people have. First, theyll run it through the wringer from a critical perspective so that they can be sure it makes sense for them.They dont complain about their problemsComplaining is what you do when you think that the situation youre in is someone elses fault or that its someone elses job to fix it. Authentic people, on the other hand, are accountable. They understand that they - and no one else - are responsible for their own lives, so theres no point in complaining.Theyre internally motivatedAuthentic people dont sit at their desks thinking, Well, if my boss would just make this job worthwhile, Id do a better job. The carrot-and-stick approach just isnt relevant to them. Theyre motivated from within.They make the best out of any situationAuthentic people have a very firm grasp on reality. When things dont go their way, they dont get trapped in denial, and they dont sit around whining about how things should be different. They simply take stock of the way things are and, if theres nothing they can do to change the situation, they figure out a way to make the best of it.They dont get stressed or upset when someone doesnt like themIts never fun accepting that someone doesnt like you, but a lot of times that discomfort comes from trying to figure out what you did wrong or how you can fix it. Authentic people dont have that anxiety because they would never try to change themselves to influence someone elses opinion. They accept that other people have a right to be authentic about their own feelings, even if those feelings are negative toward them.Bringing it all togetherLiving authentically is a perpetual challenge that yields great rewards. Its a noble path that you wont regret following.What are the benefits of living authentically? Please share your thoughts in the comments section below, as I learn just as much from you as you do from me.Travis Bradberry is the co-author ofEmotional Intelligence 2.0and the co-founder ofTalentSmart.This column first appeared on LinkedIn.